


Clarity

by battlecry7473



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Mentioned Rachel Berry, Not Rachel Friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:22:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28600638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/battlecry7473/pseuds/battlecry7473
Summary: During a visit home for break, Santana notices something off with Quinn and decides to investigate.
Relationships: Quinn Fabray & Santana Lopez
Kudos: 15





	Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> I'm playing pretty loose with canon timeline and events. This is more using canon parts but taking it in a very AU direction. Not for fans of Rachel or Faberry. 
> 
> Also not really Puck friendly but I didn't tag it since it's not really a huge part of this oneshot. There's just mention/implication that his and Quinn's hookup wasn't entirely consensual given what we know of from the show. 
> 
> Maybe I need some more tags, let me know if true.

Santana could tell when something wasn’t right. Her instincts were strong, and she could feel when something wasn’t right.

And all of her instincts told her something wasn’t right with Quinn.

When the former glee club members who were able to return from across the country at holiday break met up in the auditorium, and Quinn couldn’t hold eye contact with them for long, Santana noticed. She also noticed the way Quinn held herself just within reach to be touched, but not enough to be held onto for long. 

Quinn might not have ever been an enthusiastic receiver of affection in public, but she never had an issue with being bear-hugged by Brittany. When Brittany met up with them in the auditorium for introductions to the new group of glee kids, Santana watched as Quinn visibly braced herself for the impact and held Brittany just at arm’s length.

Brittany looked confused for a moment, but it soon passed as she moved on to hug with the rest of their friends.

Santana sidled up to Quinn’s side slowly and gently put a hand to her shoulder. “Hey. Long time no see. Hope you haven’t forgotten the rest of us out there in the big city.”

Quinn tensed for a moment then rolled her eyes, and her mouth still upturned with the slightest smirk. “I’m not exactly in  _ the _ big city, you know.”

“Well, it’s sure as hell better than shitty Lima, Ohio.” Santana took a moment to look her friend over. 

Quinn looked thinner than she’d been just four months ago when they’d said their goodbyes before heading off to their respective colleges. Her eyes held a tiredness in them that Santana hadn’t seen before. Not even after the car accident and the insomnia Quinn suffered from as a result of anxiety in the aftermath. 

“Hey,” Santana bumped her hip into Quinn’s, gazing at the other with concern. “You doing okay out there?”

Quinn smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yeah. I’m doing okay. I just took a train to New York a few days ago, and then flew here. It’s just been a lot of travel.”

Santana nodded, her mind churning in thought. She knew that after the failed engagement and wedding of Finn and Rachel, the latter had called it quits between them entirely a few weeks after Quinn’s accident. 

Just before the end of the school year, Rachel had announced to the whole club that she and Quinn were together. Quinn hadn’t said a word during the reveal.

It had taken Santana by surprise. Quinn had given no inclination that she liked Rachel beyond some semblance of friendship, and it had been less than six months since Rachel had broken off her engagement and entire relationship with Finn.

“Things going okay with Berry?” Santana found herself asking.

Quinn straightened up slightly and smoothed her hands down the front of her dress.”Things are fine. I’ve been commuting back and forth all semester. It’s a little tiring, but she’s busy with school.”

“And you’re not?” Santana cocked a brow. “Look, I’m not here to meddle in your relationship,” she said as Quinn started to interrupt. “I just think it’s a little bit unfair that you have to be the one to go there all the time. That’s all.”

For a split second, a vacant look took over in Quinn’s eyes before she shook her head slightly and smiled. “It’s fine, San. I’m fine. We’re good.”

Santana got the feeling things weren’t as fine as her friend assured, but she let the subject drop. “You going to Breadstix tonight? You can tell us all about your fancy shmancy Yale.”

Quinn laughed quietly and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be there. As long as you’re buying?” 

“Maybe we can scam Finn into buying. Or Puck.”

A dark look passed through Quinn’s eyes before she smiled. “Well, we’ll just have to see about that.”

\-------------

“Hey, I need to step outside for a sec. Rachel’s calling in a minute,” Quinn murmured to Santana shortly after they had sat down at a table. “Order for me if I’m not back?” 

“Your usual?”

Quinn frowned and worried her lower lip between her teeth. Santana worried she’d actually bite through her lip as Quinn seemed to wage some kind of internal war, before she nodded resolutely. “Yeah. My usual. Thanks, San,” she said kindly before slipping out of the booth and heading outside.

Santana thanked whatever fate allowed them to have a view out the windows. A view Quinn just happened to step into. Santana watched as her friend spoke into her phone, and her expression turned into one of concern as Quinn seemed to visibly shrink in on herself the longer she remained on her phone.

A nudge to her side broke her concentration, and she looked up to see Mercedes watching her. “You good, Lopez?”

Santana gave a half hearted smile. “I’m always good, Jones.”

“Speak to Miss Yale much today?”

“No, why?”

Mercedes shrugged and briefly glanced out the window. “We talked a lot over the summer. And then when we went our separate ways for school, things were fine at first. Maybe it’s just her being busy with coursework, but our talks turned from almost daily texting and a couple phone calls a week to barely texting at all.”

Santana frowned hearing that. “You, too? I thought she was just ignoring me because I pissed her off one too many times making fun of her.”

“Like I said, it could be nothing.” Mercedes glanced around the table, making sure no one else was listening in. “We met up at the airport yesterday. I know Quinn’s always been a little… apprehensive to public displays of affection, but this was like she was afraid of me touching her. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I’m kind of worried about her.”

Santana looked out the window again to see Quinn pinching the bridge of her nose and speaking quickly into her phone. “I am, too, ‘Cedes. I’ll see if I can find out what’s wrong.”

Their waiter came and took their orders, and Quinn finally returned shortly after, reclaiming her seat with a huff.

“I take it you’re not getting any virtual sex tonight.”

“Oh my god, Santana. You can’t just say that in public!” Quinn hissed.

Santana smirked and winked. “I’m just fucking with you, Q. Berry get you all hot and bothered and leave you hanging?”

“I don’t want to talk about it here.”

Santana flinched slightly at the coldness in her friend’s tone. “At all, or here?” she questioned, lowering her voice. “You and I can have a girl’s day tomorrow and we can talk. If you want.”

Quinn bit her lip, and Santana had never seen such hesitancy on her friend’s face when it came to planning a day together. 

Even when she was with Brittany, Quinn never hesitated in giving an answer, whether it was a yes or no. 

“It’ll be just us, right?” Quinn checked. 

“If that’s what you want.”

It took another moment, but eventually Quinn made up her mind. “Yeah. Okay. You can come over tomorrow while my mom is at work.”

Santana gave a small smile and nodded as the waiter returned with their food. “Sounds good to me.”

\----------

“So, want to tell me what’s going on with you?” Santana asked as they sat on the couch in Quinn’s living room. “Your phone call with Berry seemed pretty intense. And I don’t think it was in a good way.”

Quinn curled up, tucking her knees against her chest. “You would tell me if I’m an idiot, right?”

Santana blinked at the question. “Well, that depends. Do I think you’re an idiot of the questionable intelligence variety? No. You got into  _ Yale _ , for fuck’s sakes. Now, would I call you an idiot because you did something dumb? Yeah.” She shrugged unapologetically.

Quinn nodded and inhaled slowly. “I appreciate the honesty,” she said. “I think I did something dumb,” she admitted softly after a beat’s pause. “I might have made a mistake.”

“You’re gonna have to be a little more specific so I can tell you if you’re an idiot or not, Q.”

“I think I made a mistake dating Rachel.”

Santana’s jaw dropped slightly. She recovered after a moment and asked slowly, “Why do you think that?”

She might not have been a supporter of Quinn and Rachel’s relationship, but she’d never actually revealed that to her friend. Quinn had seemed happy, and Santana cared about that. 

Quinn took a slow, deep breath, and then untucked her knees to sit properly on the couch. She stretched out her left arm and rolled up the sleeve of her to reveal a dark bruise wrapped around her forearm.

“Quinn, what the fuck?” Santana reached out to grab Quinn’s arm, but stopped and just looked up at the other girl. “Did  _ Rachel _ do this?” she asked, dread building in her stomach.

Quinn’s eyes welled with tears and she looked away. “I told you I was an idiot.”

“ _ No _ ,” Santana vehemently disagreed. She reached out and gently took Quinn’s arm in her hands, inspecting the bruising. “You are  _ not _ an idiot. Not for this.” She gently pressed her lips to the darkest area of bruising. “ _ Never _ for this.” She slowly moved her hand to brush hair away from Quinn’s face. “Want to tell me how this happened?”

Tears fell from Quinn’s face, and she took a steadying breath as she wiped them away. “I told you I was in New York before?” she asked, and Santana nodded in return. “I planned to spend the holiday here with my mom. I went to see Rachel for a few days first.” Quinn sniffed and took a shaky breath. “Rachel just- she got  _ pissed _ . All I said was that I was going home for break, and she flipped out.”

Santana scooted closer to the other girl. She sighed when Quinn flinched slightly at the sudden movement, but a moment later Santana was able to wrap her arm Quinn’s shoulder. “Did she say anything to explain why she flipped out?”

Quinn sniffed again and wiped more tears from her eyes. “She didn’t want me seeing Finn. Or Puck. Or Sam.” She laughed sadly and shook her head. “She thinks I’m going to cheat with one of them. And maybe she’s right. It’s what I’ve always done.”

“Okay, first of all, Puck’s the bastard that got you drunk and took advantage of your insecurities,” Santana growled. “I know you never said a word about it to anyone else, but  _ that _ situation is a load of bullshit and not entirely on you. You were  _ drunk _ , Quinn. Puck knew you were drunk and vulnerable and never should have pressured you.”

“No one would have believed me if I told them,” Quinn replied softly in a broken whisper. 

“That situation doesn’t count here. Not in my book,” Santana said. “As for Finn and Sam, yeah, you were an idiot there. But again, the blame is not all on you. Finn’s just as much to blame. And Berry was going to marry him knowing what he did.” She paused and frowned for a moment. “Actually, Rachel isn’t entirely innocent, either. She made moves on Finn when you were with him.”

“I pointed that out to Rachel. She slapped me for it.”

That stopped Santana. “What?”

“I deserved it, really. Maybe not for saying what I did, but definitely for hitting Rachel during junior prom.”

Santana’s heart broke at how detached and monotonous Quinn’s voice sounded, like it was a mantra she’d been telling herself for a while. “Q, babe, nobody deserves to be hit by their partner. Ever. Have you ever hit Rachel?”

“Other than prom night?” Quinn asked, looking up at Santana. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her cheeks were stained with tear tracks. There was a hollowness in her gaze, and it made Santana’s chest ache. She huffed out a breath and shook her head. “No. Prom night junior year was the only time I ever slapped her. And I’m not exactly proud of doing it then.” She ran her hands over her face. “But I put her through a lot of other shit. So maybe this is punishment for it. Some kind of penance I have to atone for.”

“That’s  _ fucked up _ , Quinn, Jesus Christ,” Santana said, staring at the other girl in disturbance. “Listen, I know I’ve mostly kept my mouth shut about your relationship with Berry, but this is unhealthy. Look at your arm. How did she even do that?”

Quinn rubbed cautiously at the bruising on her forearm, worrying her lip between her teeth. “I went to go pack after I told her I was coming home and she got mad. She caught up to me by her room and grabbed my arm, and slammed it against the door frame.”

“Quinn, honey, you  _ need _ to break up with her. This is not a healthy relationship at all,” Santana stated. She pointed to the bruises. “If Berry can do this when she’s mad, what else can she do?”

Quinn scratched the back of her head with her other arm. “I’ve thought about doing it. Breaking up with her.” She glanced at Santana, fear and hesitancy shining in her eyes. “Things were fine when we first got together. They were great,” she said, talking faster as she went on. “We spent the summer together, and it was fun. Fantastic. And then fall came, and I went to Yale, and she went to NYADA. She gave me a Metro pass to visit. She had one, too.”

“So she  _ could _ visit you at Yale?” Santana clarified. “It’s not like she was stuck in New York?”

Quinn nodded, running her hand over her head. “Something in me must have sensed something off. Maybe it was the way that, when I first visited her and we went to lunch, she made a comment about what I chose to order,” she admitted quietly. “I can’t even tell you what I had ordered, but the  _ look _ she gave me.” Her voice broke and she stared vacantly into space. “And she said that I’d never keep the weight from the baby off if I kept eating like that. And it felt like a slap to the face.”

Santana soothingly ran her hand down the girl’s arm. “Quinn,” she said softly.

Quinn sniffed and shook her head. “And then there were comments about the fact I still kept in touch with people from glee club. You and Mercedes, mostly. The second or third time I visited her, Puck had sent me a picture of Beth. Rachel flipped out. Threw accusations in my face. Reminded me of things I’d done in the past. I  _ wasn’t  _ cheating. I had to get a new phone because mine completely broke and I lost everything. I asked Puck for a picture of Beth. That was all.”

“So, you didn’t want Rachel visiting because you didn’t want her to be able to know where you lived?” Santana guessed. “Can’t say I blame you. Who knows what she might actually do.”

“I just- I thought I was crazy,” Quinn said, finally breaking down into sobs. She leaned into Santana and held on like she was a life line. “I thought I was crazy or overreacting. I know my previous relationships, Puck notwithstanding, sucked, but they weren’t like this.”

“No, you’re not overreacting, Q,” Santana assured, brushing hair out of Quinn’s face. “This is not healthy. For either of you. And I'm honestly worried about your safety. You need to break up with her.” She gently pressed a kiss to Quinn’s forehead. “Can I ask you something?” When she received a nod, she breathed in slowly and then inquired, “Last night at Breadstix, when I asked if you wanted your usual, you had this weird look on your face. And you’ve definitely lost some weight since I saw you before you left. Have you not been eating?”

Quinn sighed, and rested her head against Santana’s. “I thought maybe if I lost a little weight, Rachel would be happy. But the comments didn’t stop. And then when I was on the phone with her last night, she made a comment about not eating anything too heavy when I said we were at Breadstix. After that, I just didn’t care. I wanted to eat, and so I did.”

Santana smirked and laughed quietly. “Look at you being a little rebel,” she teased, hoping to lighten the mood.

It got a smile out of Quinn. “You asked to talk, and I needed to get this out. If I didn’t, I would just go back to her, and I don’t want to think about what else could happen.”

“I’m  _ really _ glad you wanted to talk,” Santana replied, pulling Quinn into a hug. “You just look so tired and unhappy. I knew something was up. Mercedes and I also noticed an aversion to physical touch, but I guess I know why now.”

“I’m sor-”

“Don’t you dare apologize. Not to me. Not about this.” Santana reached out and gently took Quinn’s hand in her own. “Did Berry get pissed when you mentioned being with all of us last night?” she asked quietly.

“She wasn’t completely mad, but I know she wasn’t happy,” Quinn answered, leaning her head against Santana’s shoulder. “I’m sure I’ll have to sit through a twenty minute tantrum for even being in the same room as the three of them.”

“You said Berry was mad you were talking with Mercedes and me. What’s that about?”

“Rachel’s always been threatened by ‘Cedes. With you?” Quinn sighed and shrugged as a laugh escaped her. “She’s always suspected you aren't supportive of our relationship. She’s worried you’d try to talk me into breaking up with her.”

“Had I known this was going to happen, I would have been vocal about my distaste. You can do so much better. Better than Berry, better than any of the guys. Except Mike. Mike is the best of the guys.”

Quinn laughed heartily and nodded. “He really is. It kind of sucks he and Tina didn’t work out.”

Santana took in the rueful smile on Quinn’s face, and then she gently nudged her shoulder. “Hey. You’ll get your happy ending, Lucy Q. I promise. We just gotta get you far the fuck away from Berry first.”

Quinn nodded, and breathed in deeply. “I think I’m going to go solo for a while,” she stated. She nodded to herself after a moment. “Yeah. Live the single life for a little while. I spent nearly all of high school chasing boys and popularity. Even when I gave up on that, I got into a relationship with Rachel soon after. I think I just need to be on my own for a while. Find myself, or whatever.”

“I, for one, support you, Q,” Santana promised as she wrapped the other in a tight hug. She pressed a kiss to Quinn’s temple. “And, if you need a bodyguard when you tell Berry it’s over, I’ve got your back.”

Quinn patted Santana’s hand and smiled. “Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll need that. I was planning to go back to New York before New Haven. I’ll tell her things aren’t going to work out, and then go back to New Haven.”

“You should give security a picture of Rachel and tell them not to let her anywhere near campus.”

Quinn chuckled softly. “I have a feeling Rachel will just hyper focus on her Broadway aspirations. That’s pretty much all she ever talks about when we’re together.”

“Well, still. If you need me to go all Lima Heights on her, I’m only ever a phone call away.”

\----------

Santana returned to her dorm at the University of Louisville. She pulled her phone out from her backpack to text her parents and saw a message from Quinn waiting for her.

_ Call me when you can. _

Santana fired off a text to her mom and dad, tossed her bag on the floor and sat on the edge of her bed and hit the call button on Quinn’s text message.

She hoped it wasn’t for anything serious, but ever since the blonde had confessed to what had been going on with Rachel, Santana was an anxious wreck worrying about how Quinn breaking up with the former glee club diva would go.

“Hey, S, did you get back to school okay?”

“Yes. Now cut to the chase. Do I need to track down Berry?”

Quinn laughed on the other end of the line. “No, you do not need to play knight in shining armor for me. It… wasn’t exactly pretty,” she said hesitantly. “There was a lot of yelling, mostly from Rachel, but I did it. We’re over.”

“What’s Berry doing now?”

“Probably sulking. I don’t know, and I don’t really care. She’s still in New York, and that’s what matters.”

“If she gives you any trouble, just let me know, okay?” Santana requested. “I love you, and you don’t deserve any bullshit from her after all of this.”

“I don’t think there’s going to be any issues. I just won’t be expecting any invitations to Broadway in the future.”

Santana huffed out a laugh. “Well, I can’t say I’d actually want to sit through a show with Berry in it, so you might have lucked out on that one.”

Quinn hummed noncommittally. “I suppose only time will tell.” A little bit of commotion occurred in the background, and then she spoke again. “Hey, San, my roommate and her friends want to go and get dinner and invited me. I’m sorry to cut this short.”

Santana waved her arm in a dismissive motion even though Quinn couldn’t see her. “No, go. Have fun. Don’t get too crazy,” she teased. “No but seriously, I’m really happy you went through with the break up, Q. That might sound bitchy as fuck, but that was not a healthy relationship. You will always deserve better.”

“Are you ever going to think someone is good enough for me?” Quinn asked, and Santana could picture the eye roll that came with the statement.

“Find someone who’s actually good enough for you, and I will.”

“You’re something else,” Quinn said as she laughed lightly. “I’m gonna go. Love you, S, and we’ll talk later?”

“Of course. Love you, Lucy Q. Now go eat.”

“Yes, mom. I’ll also make sure all my homework is done, too.”

“Yeah, you better. Now go.”

Quinn’s bright, exuberant laugh was the last thing Santana heard as she hung up. 

She flopped down onto her back on the mattress and sighed. The anxiety she’d felt since leaving Lima dissipated after that conversation. Her visit home took an unexpected turn of events, but Quinn was safe for the time being, and things were set right. She’d make sure it stayed that way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Might not be my best work. Might delete later.


End file.
